Posts
On Marriage
"The two", He says, "shall be one flesh" (Gen. 2:23); so let the one flesh have equal honour. And Paul legislates for chastity by His example. How, and in what way? "This Mystery is great", he says, "but I speak concerning Christ and the Church" (Eph. 5:32). It is well for the wife to reverence Christ through her husband: and it is well for the husband not to dishonor the Church through his wife. Let the wife, he says, see that she reverence her husband, for so she does Christ; but also he bids the husband cherish his wife, for so Christ does the Church. Let us, then, give further consideration to this saying.
On Divorce and Remarriage
"Churn milk and it will be butter" (Prov. 30:33); examine this and perhaps you may find something more nourishing in it. For I think that the word here seems to deprecate second marriage. For, if there were two Christs, there may be two husbands or two wives; but if Christ is One, one Head of the Church, let there be also one flesh, and let a second be rejected; and if it hinder the second what is to be said for a third? The first is law, the second is indulgence, the third is transgression, and anything beyond this is swinish, such as has not even many examples of its wickedness. Now the Law grants divorce for every cause; but Christ not for every cause; but He allows only separation from the whore; and in all other things He commands patience. He allows to put away the fornicatress, because she corrupts the offspring; but in all other matters let us be patient and endure; or rather be enduring and patient, as many as have received the yoke of matrimony. If you see lines or marks upon her, take away her ornaments; if a hasty tongue, restrain it; if a merry laugh, make it modest; if immoderate expenditure or drink, reduce it; if unseasonable going out, shackle it; if a lofty eye, chastise it. It is uncertain which is in danger, the separator or the separated. "Let your fountain of water", it says, "be only your own, and let no stranger share it with you" (Prov. 5:17); and, let the colt of your favours and the stag of your love company with you; do thou then take care not to be a strange river, nor to please others better than your own wife. But if you be carried elsewhere, then you make a law of lewdness for your partner also. Thus says the Saviour.
- Oration 37
"The two", He says, "shall be one flesh" (Gen. 2:23); so let the one flesh have equal honour. And Paul legislates for chastity by His example. How, and in what way? "This Mystery is great", he says, "but I speak concerning Christ and the Church" (Eph. 5:32). It is well for the wife to reverence Christ through her husband: and it is well for the husband not to dishonor the Church through his wife. Let the wife, he says, see that she reverence her husband, for so she does Christ; but also he bids the husband cherish his wife, for so Christ does the Church. Let us, then, give further consideration to this saying.
On Divorce and Remarriage
"Churn milk and it will be butter" (Prov. 30:33); examine this and perhaps you may find something more nourishing in it. For I think that the word here seems to deprecate second marriage. For, if there were two Christs, there may be two husbands or two wives; but if Christ is One, one Head of the Church, let there be also one flesh, and let a second be rejected; and if it hinder the second what is to be said for a third? The first is law, the second is indulgence, the third is transgression, and anything beyond this is swinish, such as has not even many examples of its wickedness. Now the Law grants divorce for every cause; but Christ not for every cause; but He allows only separation from the whore; and in all other things He commands patience. He allows to put away the fornicatress, because she corrupts the offspring; but in all other matters let us be patient and endure; or rather be enduring and patient, as many as have received the yoke of matrimony. If you see lines or marks upon her, take away her ornaments; if a hasty tongue, restrain it; if a merry laugh, make it modest; if immoderate expenditure or drink, reduce it; if unseasonable going out, shackle it; if a lofty eye, chastise it. It is uncertain which is in danger, the separator or the separated. "Let your fountain of water", it says, "be only your own, and let no stranger share it with you" (Prov. 5:17); and, let the colt of your favours and the stag of your love company with you; do thou then take care not to be a strange river, nor to please others better than your own wife. But if you be carried elsewhere, then you make a law of lewdness for your partner also. Thus says the Saviour.
- Oration 37
These words are way too harsh for the way our life has become in todays society. I know what St Gregory is trying to say and I respect him, however, a second marriage in our day and age is not always because of indulgence but rather necessity ... Hiw words were written/expressed in a time were divorce was not the norm but the exception ...
ReplyDeleteI am divorced; after only 3 months of marriage - that was not my decision but his, does that mean I am indulging if i wish to remarry?
I believe that with the mystery of Confession, the compassion that is bound by our Spiritual Father is honoured by Christ in heaven ... those of us who are divorced, who truly honoured the sanctity of marriage but were victims of another person's decision should have the right to remarry without the stigma of being filthy or sinfully unclean if we choose to marry again ...
As a man who was was married for seven years and divorced myself, not of my will either, I can understand your sensitivity to the issue. But what St Gregory teaches here is not only the apostolic tradition, but the tradition expressed through all the Fathers through the ages that wrote on this subject. And I believe such advice is very timely and should be understood by both husband and wife before they get married. I only wish this was ingrained in my wife's head before marriage. St Paul says that second marriage is permitted for the person divorced, but not for the one who divorces. But by the Church granting a second and third marriage it is allowing the one who is weak another chance by oikonomia. These days the one undertaing the divorce for no great legitimate reason is also granted to remarry, even though this is canonically forbidden. The attitude of the Church concerning second and third marriages is manifested in the wedding service for such marriages (or should be) as they contain prayers of repentance and the celebration is a bit more sombre.
ReplyDeleteI am a Orthodox priest who divorced his wife. I was removed from canoniical service on the basis that i had abandoned my family. Words are easy, reality is a different thing. One reality that comes from Priestly divorce is the almost daily weeping for the sins one commits. I cannot attend the divine services without seeing what i lost. But wait, is weeping not a good thing? Is repentance not a good thing. How else would the Lord have allowed St. Paul the Holy Apostle to become what he became after murdering thousands. Today he would stand trial for crimes against humanity. Let us not divorce, but also let us not torture those for whom marriage is torment.A complicated subject--remember where justice is there is no mercy.
ReplyDelete